What will it take to finally have even a piece of what i want most in life, i look, i wait, but nothing ever happens im just always here wondering, what will it take? So much stuff i can change, so much stuff i can improve, but the one thing i cant do anything about, is getting what i want and need most.

To give some context to this im a little that no matter what i do can't find a cg which i know is the norm and im not special but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Ive tried for years at this point, looking posts on insta, tumblr, other reddits, discord, even looked into regular dating apps. Anyone i meet either never messages after the first day or leaves shortly after. This feeling comes and goes, i can't ever escape it even after years. I keep seeing friends and people i meet end up with cgs and i just have to question what am i doing wrong? What am i not doing that they are? Im 24 as of a few weeks ago and have never even had a relationship, no one has ever been interested which leads me to believe i have to be doing something wrong. What sparked this feeling this time was i read a agere story on Wattpad, was really good but also obviously made me feel like crap. Its normal for this to happen so i try to stay away from those stories but i read that one anyway. It just feels hopeless. In a few hours ill probably feel embarrassed for posting this but i needed to get this out somewhere.