Hi Everyone and Happy New Year’s Eve,

l hope you’re closing this year with lots of reflections on achievements, failures, and ways to recover from mistakes.

l’ve been reflecting on this for a long, long time: the cultural gaps or/and bridges between Continental Africans and the Afro-Diaspora, specifically descendants of the enslaved in the U.S.

These gaps are too wide to close for many reasons. The first is, many African-Americans believe we Continental Africans are the reason they are in this inhumane and merciless system of White Supremacy, generation after generation. You know the whole: “Africans soldiers us into slavery”. This brings me to my second point: they resent us moving to the states and living among them. l used to downplay this a lot. But, l’ve heard nativist or straight xenophobic undertones of: “Continental Africans want to replace the ethnic image of African-Americans”.

Thirdly, African-Americans are difficult to please. What do l mean by this? You literally have to mold yourself into them to be “accepted”; however, that isn’t still enough. You have to reach an impossible and unrealistic standard to be “accepted”.

There are many more l would list. But, it’s quite long. From experiences, being African isn’t well received. Also, it’s survival of the fittest trying to be “accepted” among African-Americans. lt’s already bad we face racist tropes and biases from Whites and other groups or we are a “model minority” when it suits them. But, when you feel alienated and isolated from people you share ancestry with, despite having roots in different geographic regions, it’s a huge gut punch.

This has affected my friendships and potential relationships (or maybe situationships) since l was always the one to try to fit in, rather than things being reciprocated. l gave up trying because it leaves me cynical.

l would like to know if your experience was similar. Has it changed your friendships and dating prospects? Did you find it challenging or a bit easier to deal with other communities?

Have you been lucky to find other Africans to relate to?