Edit to update: Thank you for the feedback. I think just getting this on paper, sorta speak, was helpful. I have a plan. As a glasses-wearer myself, I know the frustration of an old prescription. I can help with that directly. And I'll take pictures of the manual labor I need to hire for. And maybe hook him up with a bearded dragon and habitat (there's history here) to take care of. Wish me luck, kind internet strangers!

Maybe this is the wrong sub but I am afraid to ask, so here goes. My dad tries not to be an asshole but generally is, as if he can't help it. Sometimes he apologizes but then does it again. He's a highly intelligent and bitter man. Acts like a child, blames the world for his problems, and is not going to change. His family lost touch when I was young. He hates that my mom left him and that her side of family abandoned him. So much hate, we were estranged until he was hospitalized during the pandemic.

Now he's in a wheelchair and does very little other than play computer games. We've tried to hash things out but the difficult conversations are no longer an option for my own mental health. Even normal conversations go sideways because we conflict on politics and philosophy, etc.

I'll get to the point... It kills me that my dad is alone and suffering. I know he is doing his best, but when I visit or we talk on the phone, I'm a fucking mess for hours sometimes days afterwards. I'm afraid of the next 20 years as his only lifeline, and dreading the responsibilities and/or guilt that are sure to get worse.

He needs a housekeeper, maybe a handyman, and above all, companionship. How can I help (preferably from a distance)?