I was verbally and emotionally abused and neglected by both my parents and most of my adult family members. I was physically abused by my brother (8 years older). Molested by my second cousin(10 years older) . As well as being bullied in school. Growing up I always felt like I had nowhere to turn for support. It seemed everyone either didn't care or was out to get me. I naturally grew to keep everything to myself and not trust anyone. Now I'm 23 and I have only one real friend. I feel like I naturally push everyone away as soon as I feel like they're getting too close. I even do it to my friend, but I think he realizes I'm just fucked up and I need him. I still don't even trust him completely even though in the 5 years I've known him he's never given me a reason not to, and I've given him plenty of reasons to just walk away. Any advice please? I need to let somebody in because I'm dying inside. I wish I could just bring myself to tell him everything I've been through and everything I am going through.