Hi, first time poster here. TW for mention of CSA. I’ve finally come to the decision to cut off my parents, and by extension my siblings, which hurts more if I’m honest than never talking to my parents (mum and stepdad) again.

Basically, my mother was aware of an ongoing incident with my stepdads father, whilst out of the country. She did nothing to stop it, and later told me that my abuser actually made ‘light’ of the situation (giving her details about our sleeping arrangements under the guise of a bad back when really, he just wanted to abuse me in the same bed). This happened when I was 6, I’m 25 now. I’m finally at the point where almost every interaction with my mother in particular is painful, because every invalidation or dismissal drags me back to that time when she said “Oh well, we were calling you every day so you would have said something if he was doing anything to you.” Would I have? Really? A six year old who was already so beaten into submission by two abusive parents she rarely spoke and was viewed as a gifted, responsible child already? Really? I really would have spoken up? Or is that just what she tells herself to feel better about it?

Advice is welcome. I’m sad I can no longer see my siblings, but it’s kind of gotten to the point where she triggers a lot of harmful behaviour in me, because even know as an adult, I still punish myself for every perceived instance in which I’m disappointing or annoying or too much or too little.