During my late teen years my moms best friend got divorced and was over at our house more and more (it was just me and my mom who lived there). Over time I got closer with her friend who basically referred to herself as my "aunt".

This in and of itself doesn't bother me as I was old enough to know better and, as a young man, I enjoyed the feelings of being wanted and the physical aspect. I felt in control of what I said yes to.

The part that concerns me is over time my "aunt" kept asking about things between my mother and I and insinuating there was something there that was not. We were close, obviously, because I was an only child and it was just her and I in the house... but not "like that".

She kept asking things like if I saw my mother "that way" or if I ever thought about her like that. She would also mention how my mom was lucky to have a son like me. She'd show me pictures that my mom would post on FB of us when we were on vacations and make comments like "Oh I'm sure you two had fun!"... etc etc I think you get the point.

I denied everything (obviously) but noticed she kept pulling away from me when I'd decline things or say that I wasn't interested in her like that and that it's wrong.

I noticed that my "aunt" kept pulling away and pretty much discarded me as a broken toy until I started basically making things up to the line of "yeah my mom's okay... she looks good in a bikini... etc" and she perked right back up and our relationship carried on. I said the bare minimum just to keep her attention and affection as I didn't really have anyone else to turn to (no siblings, my dad left us, my mom had to work two jobs, I couldn't tell my friends/teachers).

Over time she kept upping the ante and questions to it even becoming pre planned events like a beach trip together or a night in the jacuuzi... She'd add alcohol to the mix as well and basically see if what I was saying had a hint of truth to it or not.

Fast Forward today I have been through a lot of therapy for alcohol addiction, anxiety, depression, shame, guilt, you name it.

I cut ties with my "aunt" when I moved away and keep in touch with my mom frequently but we never talk about any of the weird encounters. We basically just chalk it up to being drunk and assume each other forgot... But I don't think either of us forgot.

I know this is an odd scenario but I'm wondering if talking to my mom about all of these things may be beneficial to both of us. She is also on medication and therapy for basically the same issues that I have dealt with and I think it could be related.

Part of me says let it go and just get over it (try my best to)...

or open up to her and talk to her about it --- but it would be extremely awkward and also she would more than likely be very hurt that her friend and I snuck around for so long behind her back.

I feel like a sick MF even though I have my life together. I feel like I was old enough to know better but at the same time the other woman was a master manipulator and I just wasn't capable or mature enough to realize it.

I not only lied to her but lied about her and put us in (or allowed myself to stay in) weird situations. I want to apologize but I think the embarrassment and other emotions would send me into a spiral... or her into a spiral.

Has anyone else had a mature sit down with anyone from their childhood and had it be therapeutic? Or was it a disaster? Not really looking for specifics but advice on what to do/say or not do/say would at least steer me in the right direction to make a choice.

:(

EDIT: I believe the reason my mothers friend was trying to push that agenda was in order to save face in case I told a friend and things slipped out. She obviously would've been in trouble. But this way, if it did hit the surface, she could basically slander us/me and that would look much worse than her being an unrelated woman (even though I wasn't quit 18 and she referred to herself as my "aunt"). It could be for other reasons but that's the only thing that makes sense to me.