OK so I am looking to write a book about when i was groomed as a teen using as kinda a therapy practice to help myself move on.

So this started when I was around 13 - he was in his 30s. He was apart of my life till I was about 20. Now 26. I haven't spoken or heard from him in years.

In trying to recall memories for my project I've found I can't remember much from the beginning. Mostly because I heavily use weed to relax and it's fucked my memory.

Where we met? How old was I? How old was he?

Things of that sort. I know he will know this information. The last we spoke when I was 20ish he said he still had the pictures I sent him. Yes - nudes.

The thought occurred to reach out to him and attempt to get these things answered. I just don't know if i should. I don't know if I'm strong enough to not fall for his manipulative tactics. He was my everything as a teen - I had a awful childhood and he made it better at the time. The thought of reaching out makes me feel ill and makes my skin crawl.

I just need advice from people who know what it's like to be groomed.

I do plan on discussing this in therapy later in the week but thought I'd get others opinions too.

Thank you.