My boo came into town today. We're Hyatt Whores and are incidentally at the very first property that we ever stayed at together. Sort of full circle on this APiversary.

We have a habit of requesting a few sets of extra linens at check in, but today we forgot. I'm surprised it's not written in her profile and automatic at this point.

At 12:30 am, we collapse on a soaked bed. I roll off and onto the floor as she strips the bed. My legs are jello and I start melting into that place where the floor meets the wall.

She calls the front desk and asks if we can come down and get new linens. The front desk girl says: "I don't have any at this hour, but I'll send some up".

We start talking, and this random rap song from The Cinematic Orchestra comes on the stereo. The vibe is fucking dope.

I'm still melted into the corner of the room. I hear a faint knock on the door, but don't realize what it is. It's a big suite. I hear it a 3rd time and realize it's our fresh linens. She says: "I bet they'll just leave it".

There's a 4th knock. They're obviously not leaving it. I spring up buck-ass naked and run through the suite, but struggle because my legs don't have any bones. There's a 5th knock. I continue running toward the door. Before I get there, there's a sixth fucking knock. Some mother fucking dense mother fucker this is.

The Cinematic Orchestra rap is still throwing down, I open the door, and the most vanilla bored out of his fucking mind security guard hands my naked ass a mountain of linens. I thank him, and he doesn't say anything. If he thought he was bringing fresh linens at 12:30 am to someone wearing clothes, he was sorely mistaken.. 🤣

This property doesn't have microwaves in rooms, and we have chinese leftovers calling my name. I call down to find out if it's even or odd, and set off 1 floor up wearing nothing but pants. There are 2 microwaves mounted to the wall. I put the 2 leftovers into each microwave. 20 seconds later the circuit pops, and I had to go down 2 floors to finish microwaving. 🤷‍♂️

That's the end of my story. It's 100 minutes later and my legs are still jello.

Happy APiversary, boo. 😘

~~

Edit:

This is The Cinematic Orchestra song that was playing when I greeted the security guard: https://youtu.be/QyuY6o1kep4