M47 here. Married around 20 years. We had a dead bedroom for years. Otherwise we are great partners - we get along great, strong parents, we truly are each other’s support system and we tackle life together. There’s been a re-spark in the bedroom the past few months, but it’s nowhere near what I want in my sex life. And to be clear - we have spent years in couples and individual therapy working in our “desire discrepancy” - we put the work in. Things are not going to substantially change. We both understand that now.

That primal urge to feel sexual, feel desired… I can’t hold it back anymore. Met a woman a few weeks ago and had sex outside my marriage for the first time. It was amazing and I want more! From her and from others.

There are moments I feel like I gotta do this. Go get the sex I need. YOLO right?

And other moments the risk of it all just truly freaks me out. Now that I am open to the idea, I realize how easy it would be to find partners and do all the things My repressed self has wanted. If I go after that… will I be able to control myself?

Anyway… advice is welcome. Thanks for listening.