Hey all. I've lurked for a while and I'm finally ready to ask and get an opinion and help.

Background information: I am married. Have been for 8.5 years now. I have 4 children with my wife. I was her first. We love each other and are on the same page personality wise on most things. She make each other better people.

Where we diverge is physically. I am interested in exploring and trying new things in the bedroom. She absolutely does not. We've had many discussions about it and it boils down to: She is happy being conservative in the bedroom and when I ask her to try new things, she doesn't want to, then gets sad and feels guilty that she is denying me what I want. She still refuses to do it though. I'm upset because I want to explore and can't.

After several such discussions the idea arose for me to open up and search for experimentation elsewhere. Then she "doesn't have to tell me no," and I get to fulfill myself.

The problem is I'm a military member, and the military doesn't look kindly on adultery, even if it's consentual. That limits my avenues for searching.

I've tried bumble, tinder, craigslist (back in the day). How do I make a profile that is open and honest about my marrital status while protecting me from reprecussions from my job but is still attractive?