I thought I was okay. It’s been since 1/13 since I’ve heard from him and I think about him less all the time. But looking at the old messages. Seeing his nick name for me, seeing how much he projected love (even if it may not have been real at all) feels like I’ve ripped open a wound I should have gotten stitches for instead of throwing a bandaid on it. If that makes any sense.

I feel like I’m bleeding again, a big lump in my chest wanting to come out, tears threatening.

Why do you miss someone so badly even if you know they’re terrible for you? Why do I love someone that doesn’t love me? Am I doomed to feel like this forever no matter who I’m with? I’m so confused and hurt all over again. I miss him.