It’s his favorite kind of weather. I walked outside today and usually I would call him and make a joke “it’s your perfect day today” but I can’t. I’m freezing cold and the best feeling in the world was to stick my cold fingers down his shirt when we’d meet for coffee. Which sounds absolutely ridiculous.

I catch myself saying “you only knew the man for 2 months! He threw you under the bus, he doesn’t want to talk to you, he never liked you let alone loved you” and it hurts to have those thoughts. Maybe that’s what I should keep telling myself. So I can move on.

I feel like there’s a hole in my heart lately and i just want to stop missing him. I want to stop being so pathetic, I want to move on. Everyone here says it happens eventually but it’s not happening fast enough for my liking. Uhg.