I’m missing the connection, really just the friend, a lot this morning. I would wake up on weekend and know that I had some attention waiting, some love.

I also miss how understanding he was of me and my mental illness. He took the time to learn about it while my husband won’t even read articles or memes even. When I was sad I always had a shoulder to cry on and that’s gone.

I want to reach out so bad. I have the capability. I have his email. His phone number. His address. But I won’t. I won’t do that or be that pathetic. He threw me under the bus and I should just leave it at that. He said and did things that I knew were wrong and destructive and I went along with it. But god, I miss my friend so much today.