My question is for all the adultery women who eventually decided to divorce : I’m fairly new on in this chapter of my journey. I spent close to a year here going through the motions before I realized my marriage wasn’t salvageable and made the decision to file for divorce. I spent even longer in the grief and mourning stage of my 12 year marriage. That being said, I’m now going through the divorce and rebuilding the pieces in my life. I know that I am interested in connection with the opposite sex and have already met a few men from Reddit in real life. So far, given the complexity of my life right now, I’ve decided to stick with Reddit as my main form of dating.

That said, I’m a bit conflicted on the type of connection I’ll seek in this next part of my journey. I know that I absolutely don’t EVER want to remarry. I want to focus on my healing journey as well as raising my children. Given those complexities, I think it would be absolutely unfair to pursue an actual relationship with someone, who I can’t be fully available for in return. I believe in transparency so I will be open and honest about this very early on.

So please help me out: I’m trying to decide which arrangement might best serve my needs. When I was into my adultery ways, I said that if I were to divorce, I’d still probably date married men. I felt they have a stability to them that I find attractive but now I’m not so sure.

With unattached, single men, they do seem a bit immature and unsure of themselves and where their exist in the world. But I do find myself drawn to the fact that they are truly available for whatever situationship we decide to embark on. They are quite available though and there’s no seeking around, having to turn off location, deleting chats, meeting in secret locations, etc.

On the flip side, getting involved with married men does feel a lot like investing in a delisted stock. I know there won’t be any future returns and while it looks good on paper (or used to anyways) it’s still delisted and off the market.

Women who divorced, what did you decide to pursue in the first year of your divorce to get your physical needs met? A FWB or continue with married men? I’m sure there’s no right or wrong answer here but genuinely curious about how others approached this?