It’s not about the sex.

It’s not even about the intimacy. Or even the companionship.

Are those things great? 100%! There is little like the first time you’re with a new partner. It’s … awesome.

But there’s a reason it’s a special kind of awesome, and that reason is why I cheat.

I (61MM) cheat to exercise agency in my life and to take risks.

My line of work requires that I am proactive, that I basically work 6.5 days a week, and it’s also risky. There is a way to do my work that’s safer and somewhat predictable. But it doesn’t come with the same upside. Or with the same exhilaration or fulfillment.

Suffice it to say that I LOVE being with a partner other than my wife.

But the agency and risk-tolerance I live into is what makes this lifestyle — for it is indeed that: a lifestyle — almost… essential for how I’m wired.

[EDIT P.S. In order to clarify my motivation in writing this, I’m not here to get props or upvotes. Even though I have successfully avoided any upvotes, I realize I could be unwittingly and intentionally spreading bad energy. I am not “proud” of what I wrote in my post. I am, however, very pleased that I’ve peeled back a yet another layer of the onion, which I think many of us yearn to continue to peel back and understand why we do what we do. “An unexamined life is not worth living.“]