I participate regularly in the conversation here and I occasionally get DM’s out of nowhere. Usually it’s men who live a thousand miles away from me who just want to kill some time for an hour and then vanish forever. 98% of the time, The conversation includes the question “what are your biggest turn-ons?”

My answer is this:

Scheduling. Being the type of partner who gets on my schedule 7-14 days in advance so I can get my professional and personal obligations in order so I can give you my best self when I’m with you is my biggest turn on.

I see so many of you accepting last-minute invitations, like unpaid, on-call prostitutes. Sometimes last minute is fun. I get it. It can be so great to get some unforeseen action, but life is busy. I am busy. I want partners who treat my life with the certainty that I am just as busy as they are.

If you’ve wondered about ways you can improve as an AP or pAP, consider if you are taking your AP or pAP’s time and schedule seriously.

Talk dirty to me. Get on my calendar.