Let's start this off by saying life is what you make of it. Very, very rarely are others to blame for our misfortune, however it does happen sometimes.

This little write up is more of a vent session then one of those "why me" things, because the answer to the "why me" is because we, myself included, at the end of the day is just having too much invested in my, or our, current life and rolling the dice to truly be free and find happiness is way out of my comfort zone, hopefully not forever.

Marriage is hard, for me personally I decided to get married because why not? Everyone else was doing it, does it, because we are primed and prepped from the minute we are able to comprehend that it's what we are supposed to do, and man, is that fucking bullshit or what.

Do I love my wife as a person? Yes, sure, but she is by no means the person I'm supposed to be with. She knows it, I know it yet here we are in that daily grind. Yup, then comes the house, then the kids, then the added stress, the nonsense, the inlaws, the juggling, the rules....this list can go on forever.

It's not my jam, what is my jam is the teamwork, the passion, the connection, the power couple bullshit that we hear about.

Maybe it's real? I mean, fuck, it keeps me going. Slowly working my way to the position where I won't be stuck, or bored, or hoping for a change....because I'm going to leave. All part of the plan of course, stack my chips, make sure all parties involved are completely taken care of. Make sure my babies are close, and the freedom to be with them whenever. No rules, just a happy life adventure.

Some people figure it out early, others don't realize it at all, then there's myself, and I'm sure other people like it that find out, that find out when they are currently in too deep, and man does it fucking suck.

The mental chains that hold a person back from true potential is one of the saddest things in life, ever. Not being able to flourish. Everything being a battle, biting and clawing our way back to sanity. Lacking all things that help you progress instead of accumulating the shit that chops you down, death by 1000 paper cuts.

Hoping for the connection, the passion, the true feeling of being with that one and only person that you simply cannot get enough of. The one that's makes the darkest days bright, that makes the biggest problems seem tiny, that person that will stand by your side and fight until their last breath because it's you two against the world.

It's out there, I will find it, so will you. It'll be fucking magical, and hey you never know, when it happens you may say to yourself, shit... This rambling douche on reddit called this for me! Lol, thanks friend!

Let's manifest together, because life's too fucking short to be in an uphill battle forever.

Happy Wednesday and thanks for reading!

-With love from NJ, S