[END OF DAY EDIT: I couldn’t care less that the voting has left this at 0 for the day. But can someone tell me please why that might be? I thought it was legit question and I’m curious to hear from others.]

Good Monday morning, folks!

(I love Monday mornings. Commence the downvotes.)

I've thought for some time about risk tolerance related to having an affair and whether that's manifested in other areas of my life. Curious to hear from you.

Here are just three insights into me:

• My work life: I've chosen a path that absolutely requires risk tolerance. It could make me wildly successful, materially speaking, or dirt poor -- I'm fine with either outcome. It would affect my family of course, so I have to mitigate risk for their sake. If it were up to me, I'd be willing to live in a cardboard box. And if I failed, I'd live without the box.
• Physically: I'm not into extreme sports or activities that might put my body at risk -- that's not what I define for myself as "risk;" risk has to have a worthy purpose -- but at times I've placed my bodily well-being at risk when others are in danger. It's not "bravery" so much as it is a knee-jerk reaction. I did contact sports in high school and was quite good, so incurring physical damage for a purpose can make sense to me under certain conditions. And, once, it was completely autonomous.
• [EDIT: others' emotional well-being]: Just now, I was writing to someone from here offline and realized this one. It's not a flattering aspect. But this is where 99% of us are the same. We are risk tolerant when it comes to putting others' emotional well-being in jeopardy. I suppose in a way that means that I am willing to see my SO as an adversary rather than ally in some instances -- I see monogamy with her as a threat to my romantic/sexual health -- but that, too, is a choice I have made willingly.
• Where I'm risk averse: Self-esteem. As old (59) as I am, I still fear speaking before an audience. Most of us do. But I have to have most of my speech or presentation scripted in one fashion or another, and I have to memorize my opening. I can't improvise, because if I mess up, I worry that "people won't like me." That, perhaps, is why OPSEC comes relatively "easy" for me. It's practically scripted.

How about you?

If you're currently having an affair, you certainly must be risk tolerant in other areas, no? I'm curious to hear. (Curiosity itself is a risk-tolerant posture.)

Or, if you are lurking here, are there areas in your life that show you are a risk-averse person and that perhaps having an affair is a bridge too far? (I'd argue that lurking is the opposite of risk: it's a way for you to gain peace that you're currently on the right path in your marriage. You start and delete accounts as a way of maintaining equilibrium. At least, that's what I've done in the past.)