[59M here]

If you want to deny to your SO that you're having an affair, saying anything but "No" is likely to backfire.

HERE's an article on some of the things you shouldn't say when asked.

The hard truth I've had to tell myself is this: if I intend to place my wigglestick somewhere other than what I promised to my wife a couple decades ago, I have to be prepared to tell the boldest lie of all: "No."

Are you having an affair?

"No."

You can use whatever non-verbals work for you, but if you wordsmith that reply too much, you are putting yourself at risk and also your AP.

For what it's worth, I feel shitty saying "No" the couple times I've been asked. But the alternatives are very simple: don't have an affair, or prepare to blow up my life and potentially my AP's. Being willing to lie, pure and simple, is the price I pay.

Men: if you're kicking the tires on having an affair, this is something you need to consider.