Warning. This is mostly a vent.

To my boss:

You’re amazing in so many ways. First of all, thank you for being so compassionate and helpful in every situation I’ve faced. You’re cool as hell, funny, and intelligent. It’s refreshing to see such a strong woman moving up the career ladder and doing it with style.

You light up the room and command everyone’s attention. You’ve got an incredible smile and kind eyes. Your body is killer — you take care of yourself and definitely know how to show it off.

I keep things professional because you’re out of my league and I respect you too much to put you in an uncomfortable situation. I also realize this is all a dumb fantasy of mine. You give me attention because it’s your job. I don’t know much about you outside of work to be honest. You’re younger than me, engaged, and ready to start a new chapter in life. I wouldn’t want to mess that up.

So I’ll let it be and just enjoy us working together as colleagues. I’ll admire your beautiful smile from afar and silently think about the ‘what-ifs’. Maybe in another life. For now I’ll keep you to myself, as a childish crush that can only be revealed to the anonymity of the internet.

Thanks for listening. After writing this, I realize it sounds silly but it’s a form of closure and a way of giving myself permission to have these thoughts.