To save you the horror of reading through my post history, I’m a mid 30s male seeking an AP.

I’ve only been at this for a couple of months and I’m starting to realize you need very thick skin and a lot of patience to be in this game.

I just got ghosted after about two weeks of talking to this attractive, down to earth, and understanding woman. I’m trying not to induce self-pity and think it’s a ‘me’ problem but at the same time I’d like to get some validation from the community that it isn’t. I know it’s impossible to tell because there are a million factors (maybe my hobbies are a snooze-fest or my dad-bod isn’t as endearing as I think).

Mostly this is a reminder to myself that happiness and satisfaction begins within. Sometimes this search can be overwhelming and consuming. The dopamine hit of getting a new message is a real thing. This year I will try to balance the search with improving myself and finding other outlets of release.

To keep this from being a total downer of a post, here are some of my recent escapades (I don’t remember all of them, as I am hesitant to keep notes. Bad opsec and all that!):

• Texas Twister. They are a transgender person who travels a lot for work. Wanted a long term AP but continued to post the same ad even after we’re speaking for a few days. The conversation turned sexual very quickly, which should’ve been a red flag to me.

• International Intrigue. This is a very sweet woman who is allegedly moving to the United States in a couple of months. It’s probably a scam to be honest but I kept talking to her for a bit. Her husband is somewhat disabled so she wants me to fulfill that need, with a transparent cuckold relationship. I wasn’t ready for this sort of pressure so I bailed.

• Singler 1. This is the person my post title is a reference to. She responded to my Reddit ad looking for something casual as a single person. I originally went into this search with the idea that I’d be pursuing someone married, but I realized that (1) the premise that being an AP with someone else that’s married is safer, is completely arbitrary and (2) why limit the pool of potential APs by a self-imposed belief that the connection with another married person is fundamentally superior. Anyway, we spoke for a couple of weeks. She seemed to be the total package. Funny, she got my humor, attractive, decent grammar, a caring person! We were going to meet but our schedules didn’t align in the short term. I’m in no rush so I’d be patient given the potential here. One day out of the blue… ghost. Telegram and Reddit deleted. Sad!

• Singler 2. I’m still talking to this person now. It’s been a few days and she seems cool but the conversation isn’t exactly flowing. We’ll see but I’m not too hopeful about this one.

Honorable mentions:

• Dommy mommy. She messaged me asking if I wanted to be her sub. My leather game isn’t on point and I figured this would turn into an eventual extortion attempt. I passed.

• Discreet men. I’ve gotten a few of these. Not much to say on this.

• Long distance / on-liners. These are annoying since my ad specifies a physical location. Especially when they don’t mention this until after we’ve chatted for a bit.