Don’t try this at home, kids. I have totally torched my life through indecision, reading too much adhd Reddit, and frankly being dumb.

Get off Reddit and save yourself. Go do stuff in the real world.

I got overwhelmed, and made terrible decisions in order to cope. I stopped setting goals for my career because it felt like the day to day was all I could do. I slacked off. I saw things were going poorly but kept doing what I was doing, hoping for better. I kept trying to understand myself rather than to take deliberate actions. I Kept trying to find people to love and to love me, instead of finding the will to do what was right and what was necessary at work.

I allowed myself to wallow selfishly in my mistakes and to try to wish away the past. I kept doing that for days then weeks then months then years. I barely know where my 30s went. Nowhere. My career opportunities are gone. My mental health is shit. I seriously don’t know what I’m going to do for the next 40 years.

I couldn’t decide how to fix things or where to go next so I waited and waited but didn’t change my behavior. I didn’t know how? My habits formed and were fucked, like an addict.

I kept thinking the next opportunity would come. They did but they got smaller and smaller and I was unprepared to take them.

I extend my apologies to communities I’m hurting