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I lost my wedding ring set a couple months ago. last month I accidentally hit the concrete side of the garage with my car, because I didn't shovel enough snow from the driveway and was struggling to back out. last night at a party I forgot my designer bag in the bathroom and had to find it in the lost and found. he doesn't say I'm lazy, but I feel like he implies it. I break up housecleaning tasks, but to him it looks like I'm too lazy to finish tasks completely the first time. I feel like he's getting so frustrated with me. I feel so bad. I constantly feel dumb and that I'm always failing and making mistakes and accidentally messing something up. I just want to cry. I try my best but it's never good enough. I have cptsd from having a mean parent and get triggered by confrontation, so my husband says he feels like he walks on eggshells regarding what concerns he can bring up. it's turning into him bottling things up and treating me with passive aggressiveness. I can feel his true feelings towards me. I feel like he hates me.
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- 2 weeks ago
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^
I‘m in solo therapy and partner once came with. Granted, situation was not like OP‘s, but I still deal with shame around how I (don‘t) function.
Having a qualified and neutral person explain that I am different and function differently has been helpful.
Her stating in no unclear terms that sometimes I can‘t and that no pressure and trying is going to change that. That even though I have a lot of good days, on some days it‘ll be painfully obvious why adhd is classified as a disability. Her reiterating that certain things are non-negotiable for me to function, e.g. alone time, and that that has nothing to do with whether I like a person or not.
I probably needed to hear this more than my partner, but I also would have felt guilty saying it myself. It has been very helpful.