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So thereās this guy iām talking to and he asked me out yesterday, today as soon as I woke up I told him I wouldnāt be able to go bc I have a terrible sinus headache and he called me a flake
i guess itās the name calling that got me?? calling me a flake is a sensitive thing for me because of ADHD, i feel like im always failing someone
so i guess i added one more person in my āpeople iāve failedā list and im emotional even if itās just a guy
edit because this is probably important: to be honest iāve been sick for a while now due to having the worst IBS flareup of my life, but iāve been telling him that im sick repeatedly because its very hard to feel sexy when your intestines are wild. i told him that explicitly. so i didnāt cancel before, i always said i was not up to plans because i had ibs
okay now that i typed this i feel like an asshole, but at the same time not because ibs hurts and iām not eating well and feeling very sickly
edit again just for shenanigans: i wish i could be a mean girls character and go āitās not my fault youāre like in love with me or somethingā
final edit just to update you all that:
I love you all so much thank you for helping me
I listened to your advice, got high, dramatically listened to dua lipa's "training season" like I was inside the music video and then cleaned my apartment listening to girly pop which is a much better use of my time than him
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ooh do you know those flaky chocolate bars? DELICIOUS.
and yes, I am also a flake. I struggle knowing what my social battery will look like in the future and my physical health is also unpredictable. Chances that I will cancel are definitely above average. It sucks, but it also just is. This is morally neutral to me. As long as youāre honest, let them know as early as possible, and ideally already agree on a new date, thatās good.
Yes, people cancelling on you can trigger RSD. But.. Iāve had that with a friend of mine who had to cancel a few times in a row. me: āhey youāve cancelled a few times now and it kinda makes me feel like maybe Iām not as important to you as you are to me or that you donāt want to see me. itās making me insecure.ā andā¦ she just reassured me and I was totally ok?
Long story short: Yes, Iām a flake. Some people I love are flakes. For those of us with certain diagnoses life is just a bit more unpredictable. I need and deserve someone who can handle and talk about it. You deserve the same.