RSD and the extreme jealousy and rage that comes along with it are ruining my life. Yes I am in therapy but my therapist doesn’t understand. She just tells me that I need to focus on the reasons why the person/thing I want isn’t actually that desirable. But I don’t want to have to talk myself into thinking someone is shitty to feel better about being rejected by them. I want to feel and react in a normal way when it happens.

I even get enraged when I am rejected by someone I don’t want. Today a male friend told me over text that he’s back on the dating scene and has been seeing a few women. Instantly I flew into a rage, like 0 to 100. I didn’t say anything to him and just removed myself from the convo but I still feel angry, hurt, rejected, worthless. I want to block him on everything and never speak to him again. An ex I haven’t seen or spoken to in over a decade got married recently and I feel the same way, even though he was an awful partner and I would never want him back and I was the one who left him anyway!!!

I have gotten better at not reacting when it happens but I am so sick and tired of feeling this way. I feel like my life is ruled by jealousy and resentment and I hate that a perceived rejection can ruin my whole day or at the very least take me hours to calm down and recover from. I feel so pathetic and out of control. What do I do? I know I need to find a new therapist who understands ADHD and RSD but in the meantime is there any reading, techniques, etc that can help me? I don’t want to be this way anymore.