Not sure if this is an appropriate place to post on this. I’m honestly embarrassed because I feel like I’m putting my whole life on blast here and I don’t even know if it’s Adhd related. But it feels connected to dopamine/stimulation and social difficulties so I’m giving it a shot.

I am finding myself in a cycle of feeling rejected by my current partner, seeking sex and validation from outside the relationship, being unable to keep things casual with others, and then burning out sexually/emotionally/romantically. For context, I’m in a consensually non-monogamous relationship with my bf of 5 years. So seeking physical attention outside the relationship is not necessarily “cheating” per our relationship boundaries, though me becoming emotionally involved with others has caused strain for us.

I’m starting to recognize this as an unhealthy pattern that is unfair to my partners. It also has me bouncing from hypersexual to asexual and this makes me feel really disregulated.

Does anyone else struggle with any aspect related to this, whether ur monogamous or not? Is this an ADHD or just a me thing? How do you regulate impulsive emotions regarding sex? How do you deal with shame when u make a bad choice?