I think, a lot. About everything. When I look things, I automatically see all of these other different branch offs about it, the history of it use of it unusual facts etc. Its exhausting me mentally, and I can't even shut it off.

I've been trying to meditate, but its so hard. I just can't stop myself from thinking further. I try to imagine a "happy place" and then suddenly I feel like researching sustainable gardening and looking at houses on Zillow. I try to just recall old family memories, but then I get emotional. I can bring myself to tears just thinking about my family -- on accident.

I'm not in therapy or medicated outside of supplements (Lions Mane, L-trysosine, L-theanine, Magnesium Glycinate) I want to go but... my bank account says no. I realized I kept trying to isolate myself into quiet places, away from other people but the quiet place I really want is in my head.