Sorry if this has been covered before but I swear I have tried searching all over and everything keeps coming back with answers for regular humans being cheated on by their ADHD partner??

I am a married guys and been 100% faithful but my wife has not, there has been a few times it’s happened and she has told me but my ADHD brain keeps on going over it all the time, sometimes I can go weeks, months or a year without thinking and then something can trigger me into replaying so many different scenarios, things said by her, my suspicions it may have happened more than I know of.

The more I think about it the more anxious I get, sometimes the anxiety gets so bad I can hardly breathe or I get like a really intense nervous feeling or both.

This then leads to me having so many thoughts about doing the same to the point I even start to question my sexuality as I often use porn as an escape but have easily become bored so eventually move through different categories and I find something that seems to satisfy the obsessive behaviour we all have which my most recent go to being Cuckold.

For me I think my fascination for this is due to that last guy she ever told me about which is the one I replay over and over because she didn’t want to talk about it at the time and I found out from someone else he is really big, like 10” and really thick compared to me being just under 5” and not very think at all.

So when I watch this I can related to the Cuck and then I start thinking that how my wife thinks of me. She had told me before it was not a big deal but when I found out about the size apparently everyone knew about it and it was a guy in her friend group so I often wondered if she chose to do this just for the big dick experience.

Sec for us is very average most of the time because of my size so I found a really thick penis sleeve to surprise her with.

I remember looking down at it thinking holy shit there is no way this will fit, it was slightly thicker than a coke can but not as long as he was but still 8”

She doesn’t know that I know about his size so when I surprised her with it she was acting like it was a big deal so I said you don’t have to do it and we can just be as slow and gentle as you want and you don’t need to take it all.

As I slowly worked my way her face and the sounds she made were nothing I have ever seen before, and within seconds she was pulling in as close as she could wanting me to go as hard as I could.

Sorry for the long story but this is how we get to the next part as my mind starts thinking how do I compete with that, if I do want to cheat to try and feel better then no woman will want me so then that’s were the questioning my sexuality comes in and I have zero attraction to guys to the point some may say I am homophobic which then makes me think maybe I am like that because I do like guys…

Really hate ADHD sometimes and how your thoughts can just keep on rolling like a snow ball getting bigger and bigger until eventually there will be an avalanche.

Anyway back to the reason for the post, if anyone else has been cheated on how did it affect them overtime and most importantly did you find a way to cope as it’s literally driving me crazy!!

Also should have mentioned earlier this guy who was the last one she told me about was around 20 years ago and still playing on my mind!!