Hey guys, I have a lot on my mind and just need to get some sort of guidance. I am in therapy and go weekly to try to better my mental health. I am an over thinker, care way too much, and end up getting hurt in the long run. 2 years ago went through a horrible divorce from one day to the next. I moved back to my hometown and that’s when I started all over. Got a house, a great job, and my dogs. I still wasn’t satisfied or happy I found myself spending money to get happy. I ended up starting doing meth and it went from on the weekend to during the week. Thankfully I haven’t been in trouble with the law or anything but when will my luck run out? I went a month without it and things were ok I was super anxious though. My dumb self saved a contact that j thought I deleted and ended up getting some and started again. The know the dealer don’t care about my life just wants to make money… but I feel like this world is so full of anger and hurt why not just self medicate and just isolate yourself from the world and do what makes you happy….but that isn’t the answer. I battle with depression and get overwhelmed when I try to get sober. It’s like I need it to clean or run errands or whatever to keep busy. I just keep repeating this cycle. Never would I thought I be on drugs in my lifetime. Are you truly happy being sober? Does it really get better? I like the fact that when I am under the influence I don’t care.

Thank you for listening 🥹