I am gonna try to make this as easy to respond to as possible however forgive me for touching on so many topics.

I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. Initially we started our relationship out as a hook up cheating on our partners we both had been with for 5 years and cheated on multiple times. I ended up falling for her as she did for me, caused her baby dad to get kicked out and me being the main father figure for her 5 yr old daughter I have a past with addiction and self sabotaging everything, I have bi-polar, ptsd, co dependancy, addiction issues, adhd. Possibly more, She has a lot of the same however expected borderline personality disorder [ both medicated ] Initially she brought color to my black and grey life, I fell for her from her eyes, her smile , body , personality, what we share in common, the things we did as a couple compared to what I was used to with my ex We moved in together at about the 4 month mark, were able to survive off eachother, however during this period she was down and I would come home from work often trying to helo but unable to help her and it would bring me down, we ended up arguing due to it and me being insecure due to her baby dad I would worry she was gonna do somthing sneaky behind my back, even tho I know I just have to trust her It lead to drinking and eventually had a breakdown, I attempted suicide and thought she was gonna go and never come back. I prayed that if I survived it was going to work out and we were meant to be for life vs a small chapter We got back after I left the hospital, eventually moved in with her at her grandpas, we are trying to save up but both up and down mentally, I have never wanted to change my ways for the better until her and her daughter looking up to me, I still feel like if I was to leave her I will go back to self sabotaging myself and drinking or whatever drugs I can do because in my mind it's her or it's back to the streets. With us moving into her grandpas a lot of the freedom we had at our own place are gone and we have to hope that he goes to bed early if we wanna have sex but a lot of the time are too tired or have to stay up to late and are tired at work if we do so and occasionally will wake up early and have sex, we stay in the room if we aren't out doing stuff, we don't have our own space, we don't hang out with others but once in a blue moon and everything gets spent towards the 3 of us vs free time, hobbies , friends. With how things are currently, we have changed the compliments are hardly there, the way we used to talk all the time over phone and text is gone , foreplay , us going out on dates is rare, or a vacation for a few days, the look in eachothers eyes , the sex. While the arguing still happens and we have issues communicating and resolving issues between the two of us so it just bottles up and then comes out at once. When sex doesn't happen it makes me depressed, it's very important to me we used to have it often and I was head over heels then it died down to once maybe twice a week and I wake up every day ready to go, I quit porn and recently went back within the last 6 months because I was tired or arguing about it not happening and trying to make peace however porn doesn't work, I can go to it up to 5 times a day and still just want to have sex with her but know thag most likely I get my hopes up and it doesn't happen this makes her upset for how I react and not want it and I just can't seem to be okay with it , she knows I get depressed and sad about it, even when I wanna just remind myself it isn't that huge of a deal however I still feel the same way and depression/ frustration.
I don't go out of my way much anymore to surprise her with gifts or take her on dates , we don't cuddle the same , all of these things have changed and left me questioning if we can work through this or if we are just co depending and stuck on each other and it's worse on both of us, I know nothing in life is guaranteed forever however she's so different compared to everyone I've ever met, I changed my ways for the better for us and keep doing that no matter how hard it is to resisit self sabotaging and drinking or relapsing on drugs, Do you think we can work thru this or do you think we are doomed and wasting each other's time and emotions?

Also not sure if me being sober now if sex has became my only okay addiction even tho it isn't. I have been on reddit and texting a few girls feeling so quilty because I do not wanna self sabotage again and fumble our relationship, even tho if she found I talked to other girls on reddit I basically am already cheating and that's eating at me. I wanna stop it before my life completely unravels. I just wanna be back to how me and my girl used to be or see that the future can be positive and worth it, also that we work these things out and aren't incompatible.

Looking corward to responses , however sorry to go on a whole rant.