Hello. Aside from being an addict I do have medication for anxiety, depression, bipolar & seizures. I used to take 2mg of Xanax every day after my addiction because of my anxiety right? So during my time of being sober I completely cut off benzo usage aswell so I haven’t been to a general doctor or a psychiatrist because I’m still relatively new to the city & it’s not as easy as it was in my past lived cities… so here’s where I’m struggling right now sorry for yapping and sorry if it didn’t make sense my motor skills r still kinda all over. Alright so I was going to purchase xans off someone, I stalled bc I was waiting on funds, now this person who has them thinks I’m being shady and her man flat out called me a narc lmao. I juss don typee likke dis no mo’ , so obviously these people don’t deal w regular people… anyways so I have borderline personality disorder if I hadn’t already typed that, and ny mood switches from left to right so easily and I try my hardest to not let it rule over me. Now I’m actually pissed off and frustrated and I honestly just want to do any downer at this point just to numb myself honestly. Also this new house I moved into has no ceiling fans… it’s a rly nice house in a nice neighborhood but what the f* were the past owners thinking? The ac unit is not large enough for this size of a home and I sweat so much during this season && it’s been months I’ve been clean and I still get cold sweats really badly all over. I just want to punch a wall or cut/burn my thigh just to get my mind on something else… I know the last part is really dumb you’ll say, but I’m just being completely honest for those people who don’t know what addiction does to people… I’m going to stay clean because yeah I’m not going to just go down over one day but this is just how I’m feeling right now. My other posts r happy n sunshine , n yes I am happy w my life but this is just what addiction does. Even the aftermath sucks ykno? Hopefully this will pass soon.