I’m a 26 yo closeted female in India. I’ve realized my strong interest in women over the past two years, and sexting apps played a very critical role. I’ve realized I’m very good with women on apps, just flirting, sexting or having normal conversations, I tried my hand at dating apps but that’s been a fail (different story). My main problem is that I get really awkward around beautiful women irl, I have zero flirting skills irl and have never gone up to anyone and confessed I like them. Out of all the people around me, I don’t always know who is an ally and who isn’t, and I almost always feel the other person would be straight. So when I meet new women (e.g., friend’s friend), I’m always wary of how I behave around them, I don’t want them to be weirded out by me in hindsight, when I do come out. This whole thing makes me behave like a socially awkward person. I was at a friend’s party last night and I came across a beautiful and smart girl, with whom I had a whole conversation around climate change, something both of us care about. There were times during the night when people around us would go to get a drink/ food and we’d be dancing by ourselves. Like a weirdo, I don’t look towards her and dance by myself, it’s also to make sure I don’t get a huge crush on her. My behavior reminds me of how Raj from The Big Bang Theory was around women when he is sober (FYI- I don’t drink). I feel like I might be coming across as rude and someone who doesn’t mix well with other people. Things get even more tricky when a girl is drunk, hugging you, and being close in a friendly way. It’ll be great to know if someone else is awkward.