ive been doing this for 5 years now. staying busy, thinking positive, treating myself, staying productive...truth is those things dont cure depression they just mask it and push so far down you hope to forget its there but its always there.. I feel very idk lost, enraged, dissappointed, sad..numb.

if you are happy in this world you are so lucky so priceless. i have longed for what you are so easily, effortlessly.

being gay has no perks btw I tried finding some... my list had nothing on it. the constant reminder each day that you are the minority not the majority you are not “normal” its funny I wish I was the majority. I wish I didnt have to wonder every night when im sleeping alone if that will be what I do forever..if that is my normal.

I dont know what I want to be but its certainly not me.