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I really just need to get this off my chest. If there is anyone out there who can offer me some words of wisdom or support it would be greatly appreciated.
Let me start off by saying that even though I've always identified as bisexual, I [22f] never thought that I would end up with a man. When I met my now husband, I was definitely more on the lez side on the Kinsey scale. Honestly, I'm surprised he even thought he had a chance because of how god damn queer I am. I LOVE women...... but I fell in love with him. I fell in love with my best friend and I am cherishing every second of our relationship. He is my world. I didn't even know I could love someone like I love him. I am incredibly grateful for his love.
Unfortunately, the moment we became intimate I felt as though I had lost my a HUGE part of identity. Even though we're polyamorous, I can't shake the feeling that being married to a man means that I am no longer "queer" enough- despite my affections for women. I now feel out of place and unwelcome at LGBT events. Furthermore, I can't help but hate myself for all of the heterosexual privilege that is and will be bestowed upon me because my relationship with my spouse makes onlookers assume I am a straight woman. I feel as though I "took the easy way out" even though I know that I was following my heart. I feel like a traitor.
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- 9 years ago
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