Seriously, how do you send someone the first message and then somehow turn that into a date? I've read all sorts of articles on messaging people but they all seem outdated, written by men for other men, or just lame.

I've had some (very) limited success last year but I'm just paralyzed with no idea what to write as a message. "Hey how's your day going?" never seems like it leads to an actual conversation. I could ask about a detail on someone's profile but sometimes it seems forced, plus some people have almost no profile details.

I've got a lot going for me and I don't feel like I lack confidence, just the words. Once I get irl I'm great, just online I'm stuck.