I know what it feels like to be in a space you crave, even when access to that space feels conditional, and even when parts of that space feel hostile, but you're very much needed here, and very much precious within these spaces. Let me tell you how from my experience:

The most romantically safe I've ever felt was on dates or hookups with bi and pan women. So often when a woman is asking my consent, is checking in with my feelings, is extending the care I need but so often don't reserve for myself, it's one of you. I can't tell you how much it means to me when you ask me if you can touch my waist, or kiss me, or if I want to go someplace private, or be undressed, but each time you do it reminds me how precious I am.

The most valued I have ever felt romantically was by bi and pan women. You buy me a cute cocktail at the bar. You get me food from my favorite restaurant on the first date. You book a ritzy hotel for a one night stand. You pay attention to details that others gloss over, compliment facets of me even I'd missed, and make me feel strong and beautiful and embodied in ways I fight to own in my day to day life, and you do so effortlessly.

The most gorgeous, sexy, and passionate I've ever felt was in the company of bi and pan women. I didn't fully grasp my own beauty, until I saw that intoxicated look in -your- eyes. It never mattered if I was showing you my masc side, my femme side, my androgyny, you always treated it as though it were gold. I didn't know the strength or finesse of my body until it was your neck at my lips, your nails in my hair, your body thrashing, belly up on my fingertips. You never treated what I gave you as an entitlement, often instead reflecting that attention and affection back on me. I couldn't fully understand the extent to which this body could feel pleasure until it was at your ministrations. You had me feverish and drunk from your kisses, panting into your closed palms, melting into your mattresses, quaking with aftershocks, and darlings, you had me there for -hours-.

I write this to say thank you, and furthermore bless you. Before we met, I had arrived at a place in my journey where my expectations in lesbian spaces were so low, my anxiety so high, and my suffering so frequent. I have healed a lot since then, but damn if a lot of you didn't help water the seeds of that healing. I want you to know that every time I see that same energy in you, white knuckling your drink at the sapphic event or clinging to the wall at the lesbian bar, I'm going to come say hi, and tell you that you look great tonight.

Because even if I'm not your type, you ought to know you're wanted here. By far many more women than me, you're needed as well. And regardless of me or any other woman's desire or need, your presence is critical to the fabric of our space.