Stupid rant about a stupid thing but if anyone feels like wasting their time and braincells on my little misandrist manifesto, here you go!

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Preaching to the choir here on this one. And while I'm sure I'll get heat from someone for complaining at all, I do want to say I'm very, VERY grateful for my circumstances. After 22 years of never really having a solid lesbian community and being told that lesbian culture is just tik tok bullsh*t, I found myself in San Diego's lesbian scene. Which can be a minefield, but I enjoy it and have made an incredible friend group out there! So whenever there are group hangs, parties, or nights at the bar, I have the privilege of being in a wlw space and feeling like myself.

I recently left the country to do some traveling around Japan, SE asia, and spain. Also very very grateful for that opportunity. I've had some luck meeting gays on tinder, and Japan (Shinjuku & Osaka) both had phenomenal lesbian scenes. In thailand, it's more for the guys. I've seen quite a few Thai lesbian couples here, but idk how to break into that. As a backpacker, I've been hanging out with my fellow hostel trash, mostly from the UK, Germany, Holland, Australia, and India.

And...oh my god? Men STILL have the most audacity? First of all they're handsy as hell and get in your space and I just sense so much entitlement...literally I have only had three interactions with guys at all where I didn't feel like they weren't trying to smash. Sure, that sounds pretentious, but I feel like I haven't been able to just have a conversation and feel...equal. The conversation usually leads to flirting and then me explaining that I'm gay. Also? Misogyny is inSANE!!!!!

All of my drunk conversations I've had with women are usually reciprocal, respectful, and no one's trying to yell over each other even if we're both incoherently drunk. Sometimes the conversations get philosophical or political. I tried having conversations about more conceptual things (ie: the nuances of sex work in Thailand, pronouns) with men, and I find I can't even get more than 2 words in. One guy just wanted to hear himself talk, repeating over and over again that "he wasn't a bad guy...but don't dictate my life with your pronouns", and another would just go "Sweetheart! Sweetheart! Do you even know what you're talking about?" when I'd try to talk. And I don't know why I didn't just go "can you shut the fuck up please for two seconds?" Because I felt like I had to be gentle and agreeable.

And god forbid I try to make conversation or smile and give a dude a high five or something just for the hell of it. Because those gestures aren't perceived as "for the hell of it", they're perceived as "she must want to fuck me!". One guy walked by me and gave me the heart sign with his hands and I did it back, next thing I know he turned around, grabbed my face, and mashed his lips onto mine.

Also, dude they get away with EVERYTHING!! These next few examples are juvenile and i'm embarrassed for bringing them up, but a rant's a rant. I was at a boat party the other day. My girlfriends and I try to go to the lower deck to grab our bags and one of the crew goes "no you can't go down there. The captain has an announcement and you need to listen." and we were like ugh fine but LITERALLY right after this white dude who was one of the passengers walked right past the crew downstairs and the crew even greeted him. Then, we stopped at a swimming point and they had only a few paddle boards you could borrow, and the crew had a list. I went down there and told the crew "I'd like a paddle board please!", gave him my passenger number, and then he gestures to someone to get a paddleboard for me. Then this ugly tall british bloke strolls past, and goes, "I'd like a paddleboard" to the dude who was getting my paddleboard, and the guy nods and sets it in the water. I took the paddle from the dude who was getting the equipment and thanked him and then the Brit grabbed the paddle to snatch it. I didn't let go. He goes "sorry love I think that's meant for me" and I say "no, it's not. I was on the list." "No its mine." "No it's not". Then i realized that we were two grown adults arguing over a fucking paddle board so I let go because i didn't want to be that bitch. But I was mad. Literally peeked back at the list, and sure enough, my name had been at the top.

That situation rectified itself though when that british asshole kept eating shit and falling in. Then he was having some trouble bringing his board back in and one of the crew was like "do you need help?' and he said no, and some of this dude's girlfriends also said he didn't need help, but I turned to the crew and was like "I think he needs help". So this dude jumped in and towed him back. eheheheh.

But I just hate how they get away with being boisterous and breaking rules in a way we can't. I haven't been exposed to too much misogyny--definitely in the horse training and EMS worlds but it wasn't constant.

And I miss the ease of queer-centric bars and clubs. I could deal if I didn't meet a single bi or gay girl on a night out, but then telling guys I'm gay and seeing that get ignored? Man I'm TIRED!! How the fuck do yall lesbians and queer women who have to put up with so much straight culture deal?