If you clock another trans woman, please for the love of all that fucks don't tell her you clocked her. That is SO fucking rude. Even if she tells you that she's trans, please DO NOT start listing all the things that made you clock her.

I bring this up because, for the most part, I am either stealth or very quiet about being transgender since I pass pretty well (which is what I want for myself, and no one is obligated to pass themselve). I also have a couple of NSFW accounts, one where I'm openly trans another where I'm not.

The things I've had OTHER TRANS WOMEN tell me is the reason they've clocked me is insane.

Here's a short list.

•the placement of my breasts and nipples

• the way my pubic mound looks

• because I don't share pictures of my pussy

• because I have hair above my shoulders

• because of the scar on my chest, accusing me of breast implants.

• Because I haven't shown my face

• Because I haven't shown my face past my nose piercings

• Because I keep my nails short and unpolished

• the way my feat/toes look

I stg every one of these is a reason I've been given. So let me, as a lesbian, debunk some of these.

Cis women can have breasts that sit wider and have nipples that look both ways before crossing the street. Cis women can have pubic mound that are a bit puffer, or not show their pussy or face at all. Cis women can have nose piercings, short unpolished nails. Cis women all have wildly varying bodies and shapes. Cis women can have scars.

Now, to explain about the scar, something I shouldn't have to do, but here we are. It's something I get asked about all the time. From people on reddit looking at my nudes on NSFW accounts to people in public while I'm working or minding my own business at the grocery. My scar is from a type of brain surgery called a "Deep Brain Stimulator", and there's a box in my chest similar to a pacemaker that's connected to a specific part of my brain via wires. The scar sits between my clavicle and above the top of my breast. It's about 2.5" from left to right, and has some tissue paper scarring. There are days where it's practically invisible and others where it's bright pink and very visible.

For those who don't know, breast augmentation scars are placed on the UNDERSIDE of the breasts, not the top. For obvious reasons. 🙄 Mostly in an attempt to minimize and hide the scars as best as the surgeon can.

I shouldn't have to justify these things to anyone. Neither should any other woman, cis or trans. I've met cis women who are androgynous enough that I couldn't tell if they were a boy or girl, and I've met trans women, and men for that matter, with facial features so feminine that the idea of them being anything other than a cis woman is astounding to me. And every single one of those people are valid. And none of them deserve to have a "gotcha moment" from anyone, as if being transgender is thing that everyone needs to be so fucking hyper vigilant over.

Edit: These are comments I received as a queer woman from other queer women. Both cis and trans. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear enough.