i dont know how to go from here, i rlly wanted them to be my first and my last but i guess now they're just my first. there were a lot of reasons as to why we broke up and we both chose to remain as friends but of course for now we need some space from each other. part of me is regretting it while i sob my heart out but i know that it's for the best (phoebe bridgers "know it's for the better" replaying in my head rn) and I've been through enough therapy to realize this. I can't keep asking for (emotional) things I know they can't provide while they figure stuff out too. now im figuring out what to do with everything in my room that reminds me of them (trinkets, paper flowers, tiny paintings, all gifts from them) because we've just been together for that long. how do i unravel myself from the life i had with them? how do i just continue??

i guess im just posting this because I don't know how to move on, its my first time going thru a break-up. will i always feel this way? i feel better now that im not a burden to them anymore but im so scared of how to move forward from this. they were everything to me and now they're not. im scared that when i do find someone new, it happens all over again. i get my heart broken again. i dont want to feel this way ever again. (ex-gf's pronouns are they/them in case yall want to say something)