I am sure that there are countless people in my situation, yet I can't help but wonder as to why. So I [21F], for as long as I can remember have had crushes or fallen into bouts of a so called unrequited love, admiration from afar, whatever you want to call it; the catch being that those have been only for older women.

I might be tempted to say that I have mommy issues, but even though I don't have the greatest relationship with my mother, I don't seek a maternal figure or a caretaker in a partner or validation.

Another thing might be that I have never hung out with people my age whilst growing up, thus being surrounded by adults most of my life has resulted in me being attracted (mentally and physically) to women much older than me.

Also, believe me, I have tried to engage with those my age, yet I feel nothing beyond some mere faltering attraction. However, each time I get into a conversation with a woman older than me, I am captivated, feel all the butterflies in my stomach and my synapses are firing up. Granted, I have not gone further than kissing with one (and that was a singular event that confirmed my attraction), but if that single, innocent kiss felt more intense than all my intimate experiences with girls, I don't know what else to say...

My issue here is that I might never find someone, because I am just the odd one out, a nerdy university student, standing here at the beginning of my life, just longing for some impossible dreams.

Hopefully I don't offend anyone here, but if you've made it this far, what do you do in a situation like mine?

Have a good day and take care!

*also I don't know if I have selected the proper flair