Hi all. I've seen too many versions of the above sentence in our sub in the past few months. I want to address this, and I want to be very clear:

Everyone who is experiencing abuse is welcome in this sub, regardless of whether they are planning to leave, wanting to leave, considering leaving, have decided not to leave or don't want to leave, or any of the above.

This has always been a support sub. To my knowledge, unless things were different before I started modding here 4 years ago, it has always been a sub open to anyone at any stage and any type of relationship (coworker, partner, spouse, friend, family member, etc), including if that relationship ended decades ago, is still ongoing, just ended, or may never end. And that's how it should be.

I'm really disappointed to see some members of our sub essentially telling survivors to sit back and sit down. This is not okay. Many of these relationships may mimic our own, but they are not our own. It is not our place to dictate how someone should feel, and certainly not our place to dictate whether they can continue to post here.

Any person is welcome in this sub regardless of whether they've already left, or tried to leave 70 times, once, not at all, or will never think of doing so.

This is a space to vent, seek support, ask for advice, and help posters safety plan, find resources, understand the dynamics of abuse, and be met with compassion and empathy that they may not be getting anywhere else.

So please, when someone says they don't want to or can't leave, or their post history indicates such, please don't respond with "Then stop complaining."

It's not a disservice to any other survivors here for others to continue posting and venting even if they won't or can't leave. It doesn't waste anyone's time, money, resources, or skills. You can simply choose not to comment.

It costs us all nothing to allow others to exist here whatever path they may be on. But it could cost them everything if we deny their right to do so.

Thank you.