When I was 10 1/2 years old I started being groomed and abused by someone I thought was my best friend at the time, he was two years older than me, the grooming abuse caused so much sexual confusion and confusion in general, I made horrible mistakes that ruined my life, I thought from what he taught me thats how you care about someone and make them feel good, when I got older and more knowledgeable I finally told him I didn’t like that, the grooming and abuse stops and I finally have a grasp on my sexual identity, the confusion ends but by then my life was done for, I was just a innocent kid that loved to ride his bike as fast as he could, playing basketball and video games with no sexual reference or knowledge this completely changed the course of my life for the worst, what pisses me off even more is not the state of my life now which is basically in the garbage but the fact my groomer abuser has never felt any repercussions for his actions, he has gotten married had a child raised him, has had girlfriends, has two jobs, has family and friends present that love him, has his own apartment with his live in girlfriend, My life has been the complete opposite, I have no friends, I never had a social life basically stay confined at home all day, depression anxiety, guilt remorse a complete introvert hermit like life, family is not present much, they try but I have trouble dealing with myself let alone other people, unemployed never been able to keep a job, completely broke, I have never had a girlfriend let alone fallen in love, have never lived on my own, I have never left my parents apartment, I’m Basically a just turned 40 year old loser with nothing to show for it, 40 years on this planet and my future seem bleak, sometimes I think ending my miserable life is the only answer well not sometimes everyday.