My breasts are full. I’ve had children before and it feels as if I’ll start leaking any moment. My body is preparing to feed and nuture a child who isn’t here. I’m also having “post partum” sweats (no, not running a fever). Finally, I’m waking up throughout the night similar into the end of pregnancy and when you have a newborn.

I did not realize an abortion at 10 weeks pregnant would get a bodily response similar to a traditional post partum period so drastically. I’ve had children before and this feels just as if I’ve just had another.

For some, they may just ice their breasts and call it a day. However, to some this may be something upsetting and triggering. Especially when the woman previously was content in her decision of having an abortion with no real lingering upsetting feelings. Either way, it definitely can feel like salt on a wound, insult to injury and kicking a dead horse to some.

In my experience, to me this is very upsetting and is triggering the first negative emotional response I’ve had since my abortion. I am three days post abortion and the breast tenderness and fullness only really began in the evening yesterday. Doesn’t that seem cruel of Mother Nature? A little like a torturous reminder of what we just done?

I mean one might think to themselves “well then, this must be what happens in the case of still born children, miscarriages or adoption” but for us - there is a hidden guilt when comparing ourselves to others in those scenarios. Mother Nature doesn’t realize that we did this to ourselves choosing for an abortion. It is my assumption that it only realizes we are no longer pregnant.

So as I’m coping with this, with ice on my breasts alternating between top of them, side of them, below them - get it off me I’m freezing to ‘oh another hot flash and more burning breasts give me those ice bags back’. I just wanted to write something nicer than my very upset post last night which I removed and write something a little more heart felt. Incase maybe those who have not yet went on to have their abortion are reading so they may have some warning or expectations that this may happen to them as well.

I did look forward to an ending of pregnancy symptoms. I mean for me less nausea, no vivid scary nightmares or wild dreams I could write a book about and no more grinding my teeth at night (yes, that’s a less commonly known symptom)….but I did NOT realize nor did I have adequate time to learn (even with being a nurse myself) that after the abortion the body may think that it’s had a baby and can through the physical changes you would if we had.

If anyone else has experienced this I’d love to hear how long it lasted for you.