I’m having such a hard time and I don’t know how to make this choice. I feel completely lost.

My bf and I (both 36) have been together over a year, before that I recently came out of a 10yr relationship with my sons father. My son is 7. This relationship has been amazing, my bf is great with my son. Like awesome. I have a career, things are good. I was told last year I have diminished ovarian reserve so I didn’t think I could get pregnant. We had resorted to, if it happens, it happens. Well it never happened…. I sort of mourned the idea of having another child and my bf and I built new goals and aspirations for our life together (or at least I did).

Well, it happened. I’m pregnant. I feel SO irresponsible because I really don’t want another child anymore at my age. My son is 7 and I’m enjoying my life. My bf and I have a passionate, fun, light hearted relationship. Kids change everything. He really wants this pregnancy. He wants to be a dad. Initially he told me if I aborted he would leave me. He’s since changed his tune and is more supportive of what I choose. But I can’t help but feel I’m robbing him of his chance to be a bio dad.

I feel resentful, like if he wanted kids he should have focused on those goals when he was younger instead of partying and wasting his youth. I’ve been responsible my whole life (still am) and would like to enjoy myself more now that my son is getting some independence.

There’s also the fact that this may be my one and only shot at a second child due to my fertility issues. And I may be facing early menopause soon. There was a time I wanted this with him. How do I make this kind of a life changing choice?? I’m so torn. I feel regrets either way.