Ready for a shitshow? 😅 tw: sa, self harm threats. TLDR at the end.

In late 2022, I separated from my fiancé bc things got ugly. I reconnected with an old friend and we ended up hooking up a few times. I ended up taking plan b at one point, but this idiot didn’t listen to me or give me warning and still finished inside about a week after I took it. I couldn’t take another bc that’s not how it works. I ended up pregnant.

things turned ugly with my friend immediately. He had a melt down when I told him, claiming he was shitting blood, unable to eat, couldn’t sleep, etc. He really tried pushing for me to abort. He even went as far as comparing me to a girl who SA’d him bc in passing I‘d said I’d get an abortion if anything happened, but couldn’t bring myself to once I found out I actually was pregnant. The entire time I was telling him I’d raise the kid on my own and wouldn’t push for child support or anything bc I knew he didn’t want kids. I wasn’t even being a vicious “baby mama.”

Things escalated to a fight one night where he (over 6ft) followed me (5ft) around the house yelling that he’d do what he wants bc I’m “carrying his child.” I kicked him out of my house and have barely spoken to him since.

Fast forward, I’m 12 weeks pregnant. It’s been hard & I lost my job from being so sick and placed on bedrest. I find out from an attorney that bc I receive medical assistance, my friend will be required by the state to pay child support even if I don’t want it. I give my friend a heads up. He doesn’t take it well, but I ignore him. Fast forward again to last night, I’m 16 weeks pregnant. He messaged me asking what would happen if he “wasn’t around” to pay child support and if I’d still get assistance then. Hinting that he wants to end his life.

I reach out to his friend to support him bc I don’t have the capacity to & they tell me that he’s struggling bc he doesn’t want to pay child support and they genuinely believe he’s going to unalive himself bc of it. Basically making it seem like it’s my fault. I don’t really know what to do or what to think. I feel like a monster, but I’m also soo angry bc it feels like another tactic to try to guilt me for my choice to keep the baby.

TLDR: I got knocked up by a friend who’s spiraling bc I won’t abort & now he’s threatening self harm bc the state will require him to pay child support.