I just exited a pretty horrific breakup after 5 years of being together, and I'm having a pretty bad identity crisis.

I try so hard to meditate every day, journal, stay mindful, etc. But find myself spiraling and overcomplicating everything whenever I reach that place. I overthink EVERYTHING and make everything so complicated, and it has ruined a lot of aspects of my life from my career to my relationships.

I want to practice Zen and truly believe it. I want to think less and act more. I want to kick this anxiety to the curb and feel so validated and confident in myself and my mindset that I don't have to question things so deeply anymore. I OBSESS over the future and allow the past to keep me in a chokehold.

My ex was so confident and 1 track minded. She never overcomplicated things and was a master at "being". She let life come to her and she flowed with it accordingly. She knew her morals and philosophy on life and applied it to everything she did. I want to be in that space.

I just have no idea where to turn or how to get there. No amount of reddit questions, self help books, or habits have gotten me any further than where I am now.

What can I do to slow my mind? How do I stop overcomplicating everything and ruining the good things in my life?