Co-Dependency Checklist

1. Solving their problems or relieving their pain is the most important thing in my life--no matter what the emotional cost to me.

2. My good feelings depend on approval from them.

3. I protect them from the consequences of their behavior. I lie for them, cover up for them, and never let others say anything bad about them.

4. I try very hard to get them to do things my way.

5. I don't pay any attention to how I feel for what I want. I only care about how they feel and what they want.

6. I will do anything to avoid getting rejected by them.

7. I will do anything to avoid making them angry at me.

8. I experience much more passion in a relationship that is stormy and full of drama.

9. I am a perfectionist and I blame myself for everything that goes wrong.

10. I feel angry, unappreciated, and used a great deal of the time.

11. I pretend that everything is fine when it isn't.

12. The struggle to get them to love me dominates my life.

Posting this because it's useful to know. A lot of people have the impression that in a relationship between two people (whether it's friends, family, or lovers) it's noble to sacrifice time and effort to make things work and that they're somehow bad if they don't--but then don't realize that they're actually stuck in a cycle of hurting themselves. Many people also don't even realize that co-dependency is a thing, or rationalise their actions away by telling themselves either that it's not that bad or that it's just one individual case or event, and not the larger issue that it really is.

The checklist was taken from the book 'Toxic Parents', and an elaboration is below:

Originally, the term co-dependent was used specifically to describe the partner of an alcoholic or drug addict. Co-dependent was used interchangeably with the term enabler--someone whose life was out of control because he or she was taking responsibility for 'saving' a chemically dependent person. But in the past few years the definition of co-dependency has expanded to include all people who victimize themselves in the process of rescuing and being responsible for any compulsive, addicted, abusive, or excessively dependent person.

Edit: If you think this describes you at the moment or is very refletive of you, probably consider therapy or counselling or at least reading up more about healthy and unhealthy behaviours to engage in for relationships. Not a healthcare professional here, though, and if you think something is wrong, it's probably someone like that whom you'd want to engage.