I had to say goodbye to the goodest boy in the world. His name was Tuptuś, but we called him Tuppy. He was 15 years old. His problems with a collapsed trachea started a few years ago. To be honest, he had been coughing when pulling on his leash ever since he was a puppy. We didn’t know there was surgery for it. Maybe he could have lived longer if we had known back then, but I don't know. He was such a cr4ckhead, always making us laugh. Not a day went by without him doing something funny.

I’m the youngest in my family. I was 8 when we got him, and I’m 23 now. I’m pretty sure he thought I was his YOUNGER sister. He would always bite and bully me. As he got older, he stopped, but still, I loved those moments when he tried to bite me, even when he no longer had teeth. We grew up together. It’s crazy how fast time flies. I still remember our first meeting. He saw me and sat beside me on a chair. He was only 5 months old. I wish I could turn back time. I wouldn’t change a thing, but I wish I could relive it all over again.

He was always so happy to see us, no matter if we were gone for the whole day or just 15 minutes. I don’t know how I’m going to live without him welcoming me home after a long day. He was always there, throughout my (almost) entire life. I don’t know life without him, and I never wanted to experience it, even though I knew it was inevitable. I could talk about him for hours. I’m going to write down all the moments I remember in my notebook. I wish I could remember every day with him. He was there for my first day of school, my high school graduation, my first day of university, and my first day of work. He also saw my sad moments, like my first heartbreak. He would sit beside me and lick my tears off my cheeks. Maybe just because they were salty haha.

As I mentioned, he had a collapsed trachea. Last weekend, it got worse. He couldn’t sleep or eat, and he was coughing all day and night. The vet gave him meds and steroid shots, but they didn’t work. I wanted to look for other vets, but then we found out he had cancer in his spleen and bladder. He had cancer before, in his testicles, but it was removed, and he was fine for about two years. I’m not sure about the timing right now, but I think it was two years. There were three different times when vets said we should euthanize him, but he was a fighter. He always managed to bounce back. He was the strongest dog in the world. He didn’t even flinch when vets gave him injections, and he had been that way since he was a puppy. Like I said, he was a fighter. But there were just too many things wrong with his health this time. We had to make the decision, or he would have died from suffocation (due to the collapsed trachea) or from the cancer. When the vet gave him anesthesia to put him to sleep, he was still coughing, even in his sleep. It was heartbreaking, but also reassuring. It showed we had made the right choice. He didn’t deserve to suffer like that. When he got the final injection for euthanasia, I saw his last breath. I don’t know how to describe it, but I felt a sense of peace in that moment, like his suffering had ended. I hope he felt the same.

Before the injections, I told him I loved him, thanked him, and said goodbye. By "thank you," I meant thank you for all the years you spent with us. You made my life so much better. I never felt alone. You were my best friend, my OLDER brother, my little fighter. I will never forget you. I told you that I wanted you to live forever, to see my kids. I told you you weren’t going anywhere. But don’t worry, it’s okay. I know you had to go. Now you can rest forever. I believe we’ll meet again in a place without fear or pain. I hope you're happy, and I hope you know that I love you so much and will never stop loving you. I will tell my kids and grandkids about you, about the goodest boy in the world.

All I feel now is pain, but one day I’ll be able to think about you with a smile on my face. Just not yet. It’s crazy that you were here just two hours ago, and now you’re gone. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t help you. Please, remember me. I’m still your YOUNGER sister. When the time comes, please greet me in that beautiful place. I don’t know exactly what that place will be, but I’m sure it’s beautiful because you’re there now.

Goodbye, Tuppy. I love you, and I will miss you forever. You were the goodest boy in the world. Please, be happy up there.