Working Title: THE MEMORY THIEF, AND THE INFINITE TRAIN

Genre: YA Fantasy

Word count: Sample - 2,000 words

POV: unclear*

Explicit content: N/A

Level of violence: PG

Trigger warnings: Fatphobia

Blurb: Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard meets Harry Potter

In a world dominated by rulers controlling enigmatic machines manipulated by blood, an orphaned teenage thief finds herself unexpectedly thrust into an invitation to the prestigious Elite School, once her skills with 'blood machines' is uncovered. Alongside her future classmates, with whom she's too different to get along with, she unravels a perilous plot to unleash a weapon capable of altering the very fabric of the climate.

What to Assess:

Tense Consistency: Should I conform more closely to past tense?

Character Introduction: Does the protagonist, Unami feel oriented around goals, motivations, and personality traits clear? What about Lor, and Pri?

World-Building: Is the setting of the story introduced in a way that feels immersive and believable?

Pacing: Are there any info dumps that slow down the narrative? Do you feel engaged whilst reading this?

Voice: Does the writing have a distinct and engaging voice?

Perspective: What perspective do you think would be effective for my story? First-person or third-person?

Relatability: Does the protagonist face challenges or have experiences that would resonate with 12-18 yr old.

Emotional Connection: Do you feel excitement, curiosity, or suspense?

DM TO SECURE THE SAMPLE PAGES!

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