One spooky night some aliens landed their grubby foreign saucer in a pristine forest veritably bursting with nature and birdsong and folklore. Their mission was to collect samples of everything we hold dear and make horrible squelching noises the whole time. Only X-Com stood between the aliens and their sinister objective. The alien saucer, humming with unnatural energies, had disgorged a team of Sectoids; they were combing the forest and abducting all the charismatic megafauna when suddenly they heard a horrible crunching noise in the brush. They whirled around just in time to be bracketed in the headlights of something remorseless, metal and unstoppable. The forest strobed with muzzle flashes and fluffy woodland creatures fled the sudden thunder, and then everything was quiet.

Deep within the sickly purple hull of the saucer, exchanging grunts and polite nothings, reclined a pack of savage Mutons. However, their nuanced dialogue on the gastronomic merit of humanity was cut short by distant gunshots; their suspicion aroused, they pushed to their feet and barked startled interrogatories at each other. Before they could untuck their napkins and set off in search of the source of the disturbance, the ship began to vibrate with a metallic rumbling; the alien table service began jumping and rattling, and the space cocktails slopped onto the table. The Mutons stumbled back in surprise as the energy door to the space parlour disintegrated to reveal a nightmarish sight: a robotic tank splattered with debris that, if put back together properly, might have formed something resembling a Sectoid. The Mutons roared, pounded their chests and resorted to their most fearsome ability: Intimidate. They were shocked to discover that Olly the robot tank displayed absolutely no reaction to this heretofore irresistible display of force. The Mutons fumbled for their plasma rifles and blazed into the robot at point blank range, but it was to no avail; his alloy armor shrugged off the blasts as if they were prepubescent fisticuffs. The shattered tableware on the floor was soon joined by smoking bullet casings and Muton corpses as Olly's implacable advance continued into the hallway.

In the lavish Officer's Lounge, the Sectoid Commanders had laid down their futuristic cues of unknown purpose and stubbed out their sinister alien cigars of sinister composition, and were picking straws to determine who of them would go to investigate the screaming. The lucky winner was spared the trip when Olly staved in the holographic doors with his mighty treads and rolled into the room, regarding the Sectoid Commanders with impassive photoreceptors that concealed a robotic heart burning with ardent passion for justice. The Sectoid Commanders sneered in an attempt to preserve a veneer of confidence, and unleashed psychic powers to which any man living would have succumbed. When the storm subsided, Olly stood unbowed and unbroken, and broke the dumbfounded silence by spinning up his minigun. The Sectoid Commanders took cover behind the upturned space snooker table, and a fierce firefight ensued. Finally Olly, weakened by continuous plasma bombardment and clogged with the bodily fluids of the saucer's inhabitants, succumbed to his wounds; the explosion filled the room with shrapnel, smoke, and righteous flame. The coughing Sectoid Commanders had little time to celebrate, however, before Olly's squishy organic squadmates, who had been unable to keep up with his fearless advance, burst into the room panting heavily. With vengeance in their hearts, they finished off the stunned and wounded Sectoid Commanders. As the smoke cleared, they tearfully gathered up the burning hulk that had once been humanity's greatest hero, and solemnly conveyed it back to base. From there, Olly was conducted to a grave in Arlington with full military honors and a tearful speech by the President of the United States, as the adoring public wept unabashedly. But Olly will live on in the hearts of mankind as well as in the legions of robotic tanks that will follow in his footsteps and crush the alien invasion once and for all.